country and silence

Country has to be one of my favorite genres of music. I really don't know what got me into it, but I just fell in love. The boys are dreamy, and true gentlemen :).. MY FAVORITE! haha but I never knew that the music would totally relate to me. I effin love it bro! Anyways, have you ever felt like the whole world is against you and you don't know what to do about it? Yeah, well I did something over the summer I shouldn't have done, and I really wish that I hadn't have done it. It's ruined a lot of trust between my parents in which they feel that it is necessary to keep me home and not sleep over at other peoples house or hang out with my best friend! One, I understand where they are coming from, but if only they knew I actually learned from that mistake and that I would never do it again until I was ready. I wish they would learn that times have changed and that things happen for a reason, and that you can't always protect the people you love from the outside world. It's dangerous out there and I know it is, but you have to let go sometime. Sometimes I can't wait to leave this place, but at the same time, I wonder, what would happen to me if I left, would I be happy or would I be homesick? Just two more years and then I'll find out. Well, I guess I should go to bed, I've been locked up in my room for hours so I wouldn't have to see my parents. I'm that mad at them for not letting me sleep over, yet I get so mad at people for getting mad at their parents because they didn't let them do something.I guess I should just wait out the storm until my parents finally decide it's okay for me to hang with other people. :/ Something in which I don't how long it will take and if I'll even have the patience.

Darn... lost too soon...

You think you have it all, the perfect life, the perfect friends, the perfect guy... then it's destroyed the minute you say lets just stay friends. Ha great decision on my part, NOT! I miss Cody a lot and yeah we may be friends still but trust me, I love him to death, and I don't want to let him go. Another thing, I just want to leave this hell hole of a place. I can't do anything right for myself and I'm still trying to figure out who I am, but not while I'm here. It's a crazy place... class A bitches and hoes everywhere dating the douches of the year and they down grade on us actual nice people. I mean come on at least show a little respect for people who don't fling their v*****'s everywhere, and the guys at my school I mean come on they have no respect for girls and they think they are the shit for being on the football team... we only won one game this year! So they most definetly play like shit haha! Oh and we were suppose to have an assembly for girls on how to be kind and it's like really, does the administration think that's gonna work, once someone is the way they are they won't change. I may sound like a bitch, but what am I suppose to do let people walk all over me? Not gonna fly with. And one girl had the audacity to say my best friend was a fat ass(which she isn't). Wow, you're cool honey! People are so mean somtimes and it truly bugs me, I mean can we be nice for once and not judge someone for once? :P

Confused and loved...

Have you ever woke up from that amazing feeling that you won third in state at a marching competition and you dreamt about the dream guy you saw there? Yeah, well I woke up feeling amazing. It's hard to believe that my dream guy was my ex and that my band went from being in 26 to 3 in 5 years. It's pretty "sick-nasty". Anyways, when I saw my ex I got butterflies and goosebumps just started prickling up all over my body. I ran to him and it felt so great to be in his arms again. I knew that there must have been something still between us because I have never felt so happy in my life. Not saying that I am in love, of course not, what is a 15 year old girl suppose to know about love right? Well I woke up feelin amazing, yet I had the butterflies back in my stomach and the little voice saying "call Cody call Cody". As much as I could that little voice didn't leave me... I cleaned my room, ate breakfast, went on facebook did anything that could distract me, yet I had to call him. The phone rang and my heart was pounding faster than a humming birds wings. He picked up and called me bear... our inside joke and the funniest word that he ever says to me. Damn, his feet must be tired because he's been runnin around my head all day! :D we talked for over 4 hours... trust me it feels great to not be having to march anymore and just being able to talk on the phone and do nothin. I probably sound like a middle school dramatic teen girl, but its true, I think I found my "prince charming" for now. :)