New Year, New Me, New You

Well, I live in the mountain time zone of the United States and that means I have 53 minutes left 'till I ring in the New Year! Yay, yet there is still a tugging at my heart, am I ready for a new year, am I ready for change? I fear change. I hate having to change something that I already know. Maybe changing my room and changing my hair or the brand of makeup I wear, but not the type of change that affects the whole world. A new president will be elected in 2012, meaning new laws and new people running for office. A new school year will start next august and I will become a junior, I will start preparing for college applications, and start driving. All this seems like so much fun, but yet there is that little voice that makes me want to scream and somehow stop time. I'm not ready to move on, I want to go back into the past and redo all the crazy stuff I have done. I read a book today and it talked about how (from a religious stand point) God closes one door for a reason and will open one that seems better. God has better reasons and ways for us then we may think for ourselves. Yet, how will we know which door to open? We can't look into the future and we can only wait to see what will occur. I am excited to see what will happen in my life, if I get a job, if I get a boyfriend, if I letter in the activities I want to for school. Yet, I just want to go back in time and stay a little kid. I didn't worry about presidents, or laws, wars, even boys. I just worried about coloring in the lines and learning that a lot was two words and not one. I HOPE that this year will be different from the rest. That I will stick to my new year's resolution... to lose 20 pounds by summer and that I won't judge merely by how a person may look, talk, or act. If I can do it, anyone can do it. :) Let's open up some champagne and dance 'till the break of dawn! Party it up like there is no tomorrow, because who knows if today could be our last. :)

Smile, It Gets Better. I promise :)

Recently, I had gotten in a fight with my parents over a really stupid thing, and it caused me to do something I regretted. No not suicide, but to cut. The feeling of some other pain besides the one that had already peirced my heart seemed to have been a better idea. I wish I could redo it, take away the scabs that are forming over the wounds. Everyone gets in fights with people they love, but we take what we have for granted. We think that the people we love will be there always, when they could be taken away the next day. I just watched a video of 10 reasons why you should smile. Well, here are mine.
1. Family-they support me, and encourage me to keep pursuing my music and sports.
2. Piano- I could never give up piano, even if I hate practicing, it's like being in a whole other world.
3. Sports-Lacrosse, swimming, and dancing; things i love to do and make me happy.
4. Friends- Taylor, Brie, Cristina, Jessica, Chandler, Cody, Drea, and Rachel(need I say more?) :D
5. Music- Everfound, Jack's Mannequin, Country <3
6. History- Past events can help us from making the same mistakes in the future :)
7. My crush- though I don't talk to him, maybe one day I might get a word, or a kiss ( a girl can dream :))
8. Snow-even though I hate it, it just looks so beautiful when the crystals gleam in the sunlight
9. Letters- from friendly to a love letter, they all melt my heart and make me SMILE
10. My life- that I am still here and just waiting to take on the world, ONE step at a time <3
We musn't forget that we were put on this Earth for a reason, and that no one can bring us down. Just remember, a Smile can change a person's entire outlook on life :)